Destiny's Joke
by myfriendscallmecrazy
Summary: Artemis and Holly are charged with commiting a time travel law, and forced into an LEP holding cell. But what happens if Foaly wasn't crazy, and keeping them down there for a long time would save the fairy world?
1. Don't shoot the genius!

Hey everybody. Greetings from the Fowl household, where I am currently having a deep and intricate conversation naming all of Foaly's inventions, with none other than Artemis Fowl the II himself. Ha! I wish. Nah, it's just me, myfriendscallmecrazy, who is really hoping that they'll pass their exams….

Anyways, I hope you enjoy my story!

Disclaimer: I just read my birth certificate, and I'm not Eoin Colfer. You should check out that guy who lives in Ireland, and writes the Artemis Fowl series. I heard he might be the guy you're looking for.

by the way, the texts are in _italics_. thoughts are in 'single quotations.'

* * *

Sunset. A time where day and night battle for the right of the sky. Night wins, and the skies fill with a dark blanket of stars that shine brightly in the cool December air. The fields turn dark and wispy; the cities alive with lights. About an hours' drive from Dublin, Ireland, such was not the case.

Secluded behind a grove of trees is a castle-turned mansion. The manor belongs to the wealthiest family in all of Ireland, and possibly Europe: the Fowls. Now at this particular evening in the Fowl residence, the eldest son Artemis II was thinking- his favorite pastime. A rather odd passion for a fifteen year old boy, but he was the only fifteen year old with the IQ twice the adults in Europe.

So what was the genius thinking about? Mostly psychology and the only girl the genius had ever announced was his best friend: Captain Holly Short. Artemis had been doing that a lot lately-thinking about her. He just usually brushed it aside as hormones, and continued to plot new schemes to rob the rich of their riches.

A gentle knocking on his windows interrupted his thoughts on the design of a more technological advanced computer, so he departed from his leather chair, and opened the large French windows. An ordinary bystander would have thought he was just letting in some air, however to the ordinary bystander with the knowledge of fairies, they would know he was letting in a certain female elf.

Artemis closed the windows as soon as her felt her presence in the room. "Holly," he smiled.

"It's been too long," smiled the elf, as she unshielded. "Unfortunately, I haven't come on a social note. The Council needs to see you, Artemis."

"Alright, bring me there." Shrugged the teen, as he spread his arms wide, expecting her to attaching him to her Moonbelt.

Holly shook her head. "I'm sorry, Artemis. It's not that simple."

He could see the pain in her eyes; the way her face contorted as if she had no choice. But what in the name of science was wrong that would cause her that much pain?

"Well, I'm sure it's not that ba- Holly?" He was interrupted when suddenly Holly shot him.

After what felt like an eternity of darkness to the genius, Artemis Fowl finally opened his eyes, and almost wished he hadn't. He had a blinding headache, and there was obviously a welt on his right shoulder. He gathered his surroundings, and was surprised to find himself in Foaly's Operation's Booth, sitting on a white couch, with Holly sitting rather straightly at the other end. As his other senses decided to come together, he noted that Commander Trouble and Foaly were arguing about something, rather loudly. Artemis figure this was another cause for his headache, for Trouble was shouting and Foaly was making up for his desire not to shout by creating loud noises on his various patented computers.

Artemis sat up against the arm of the sofa, and regarded Holly. She looked uncomfortable sitting here, in the mist of the heated argument, though he suspected there was another factor to her troubled expression. He then did a double take, and looked at his best friend with more scrutiny. Her hair had grown longer, barely touching her shoulders, as well as more layers with the addition of different shades of her natural auburn colour that made it look more balanced and appeasing.

Upon noticing his wakefulness, Holly then turned her focus away from the fact that they were in big trouble, and started typing on the keyboard on her forearm.

Suddenly, Artemis felt his cell phone vibrate, which meant he was getting a text message - but from whom? He viewed the massage, and only realized it was from Holly, when he looked up at her in confusion, and she pointed to the virtual keyboard on her arm.

_Sorry about this. I really am. We're not allowed to talk, so I suggest texting. Y'know, texting is considerably primitive to us. _

He replied back: _Might I ask why we aren't allowed to talk? Or is that top secret?_

_No, it's not top secret, although it should be. We're in massive trouble, considering Trouble was unaware of the whole time paradox situation. Someone leaked the videos of the Rathdown Park incident to him, and he livid. He thinks we broke some time travel law, and well…_

_Well what?_

Holly's face flushed quite a bit, as she remembered that day. _He saw that part._

_What part?_

_Y'know, _that_ part. With the gorilla. Remember? _

Artemis flushed slightly as well_. Oh, _that_ part. Yes, I remember. Why is he so concerned with it though? It's not his problem. Unless it's affecting your work performance…_is_ it affecting your work performance?_

Holly frowned. _No, it's not affecting my work performance, but he thinks it is. _

'Well, if you count the fact that I can't stop thinking about you, then yes, it is affecting my work performance,' she thought, glad that he couldn't read her mind. And then she thought with a slight smile, 'We've used the word 'performance' way too much.'

_I don't understand. _

_Me either. We have to go into court and face the Council soon, considering he's charged us with unprofessional affection, and the time travel violation. _

As if by reading their text messages, which maybe he was- who's to say- Trouble left the room, and Foaly motioned them to follow them out into the dreary-looking hallway.

Holly sent Artemis one last final text message before they entered the Council's line of fire.

_It's all under control. _

Artemis doubted it was. He had no idea how right he was.

* * *

Please let me know what you think of the story so far. All reviews are greatly appreciated.

This is myfriendscallmecrazy, signing off. The next chapter, awaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!! (enter theme music here)


	2. The centaur hatches a plan

Holly and Artemis came into a room, that looked like any other board meeting room; a tedious looking room, with a long table in the center, and chairs, on either sides.

Artemis was surprisingly disappointed. He had expected something a little more….traditionally fairy. Then again, there were always new surprises, each time he came below ground, most of them good. He took a seat next to Holly, who was sitting next to a blonde, with 1-inch florescent pink false nails, and her make-up piled on. On his left, sat a younger-looking fairy, which looked like he really did not want to be here at all. On the other side of the younger fairy, sat an elderly fairy, which looked anything but elderly, despite her long slivery hair.

'Well, this'll be interesting,' he thought.

On the opposite side of the table, sat Commander Trouble Kelp, next to him sat a balding fairy, who looked very bitter, and ignorant. Artemis read his name tag (which was easier for him to read, considering he was across the table, as opposed to those next to him), and it read: Treasurer Balba. The fairy beside him, was a very tired-looking elderly fairy, that looked like he was about to fall asleep; Vice-President Tortezu. The fairy on the other side of Trouble was Chairman Cahartez, who looked like he was bored out of his tiny fairy skull.

In a fit of fury, Commander Trouble suddenly slammed his fists onto the grey table. "All I want to know is why."

"Why…" said Holly, raising an eyebrow.

"You know why," he sneered

"None of your business," sneered Holly right back at him.

"It _is_ my damn business, Holly! I am Commander, and I have a right to know what goes on during missions!" he barked, stunning everyone in the room, with the sudden outburst.

"Okay, first of all, like, calm down," said, the blonde in a calming manner, who Holly had mentioned as Lili Frond. "Secondly, it is _so_ not your business, as you were not issued as in control of that mission."

"She's got a point, Commander," spoke Artemis, and then paused for a second. "Shouldn't N1 be here?"

Holly whispered, to the human beside her. "He's training in the 1600's with Qwan."

"Oh"

"More importantly, shouldn't we be focusing on the _actual_ rule these two broke?" pointed out Treasurer Balba with a sigh. He had obviously heard Trouble's accusation before.

"Ah, yes," sighed Chairman Cahartez. "Vole curry, anyone?"

"Vole curry?" scoffed Artemis. "I thought you were trying to arrest us, not give us indigestion."

"Oh, _snap_," snickered Grub Kelp. Artemis recognized the resemblance towards him and Trouble, and assumed that Grub was the brother Trouble was always yelling at.

With a huff, Cahartez angrily pulled out a giant leather book, then blew the years of dust straight into Artemis's and Holly's faces. They began to cough, as decades of grime filled their lungs.

"Page 55, Section 5, paragraph 5, line 5," coughed Tortezu inconspicuously.

Foaly eyed the Vice-President with suspicion, as the VP began to read from the text.

"The law, issued in 1930, states that there is to be no time traveling under any circumstances, unless the fairy world is at stake. The penalty is 50 years in Howler's Peak."

"Howler's Peak?" exclaimed Holly. "You can't be serious?"

"Dead serious, Captain," said the Commander, sharply. "You were alive back then, so it's not like you never knew about the bylaw."

"I was only a kid!" protested the elf.

"She was only a _kid_!" repeated Foaly, going for emphasis.

"Look, Commander, "said Grub, resisting the urge to call him _Trubs_. "They were only trying to save Artemis's mother. You _know_ you would do the same if it was Mommy."

"Don't bring Mommy into this," growled Trouble, sounding very unprofessional.

Wing Commander Vinyaya sighed (for of course it was her). "What Grub is trying to say is that Holly was trying to help a friend in need – just like any friend would do, even if it means breaking a few rules. Don't you tell me that you wouldn't do that same, Trouble."

Trouble narrowed his eyes, and he beckoned for the other members of the Council to leave the room to deliberate the accused's fate.

As they left, Holly turned to Artemis. "Are you okay?" she asked.

He seemed surprised. "Of course. Did you expect me to be traumatized?"

She managed a weak smile. "Yeah, something like that."

Holly turned away, once she saw the Council come back into the room. Once seated, Vice-President Tortezu folded his hands. "We have come to an agreement."

"One week in a Police Plaza holding cell," said Treasurer Balba.

"Two weeks!" shouted Foaly.

"Three weeks," countered Commander Trouble.

"Four weeks. Take it, or leave it." Finalized the centaur.

"Deal."

"Foaly!" cried Artemis and Holly in simultaneously

"I always thought he was a little cuckoo," whispered Lili, making circular motions around her head with her finger. Grub giggled in agreement.

"Alright, take them in," announced Balba. He then giggled childishly. "I've always wanted to say that!"

Vinyaya rolled her eyes. As Holly and Artemis were being cuffed, Holly shot Foaly a glance that said '_what is wrong with you?'_

"I'll explain later," he said softly, as to not be overheard.

Commander Trouble then held up a rather large and heavy looking gun. "Nighty-night, convicts." And then shot the elf and human.

Artemis's last thoughts were: 'Oh no, not again…'


	3. Awkward

Hey guys!!! Sory I haven't posted this in like, eternity, but i kinda lost the folder where I had the story on good ole paper, and then my dad blackmailed me with it in order to get back some Nitendo DS games, and well, I won't bother you with all my excuses.

Disclaimer: Do I have to do one for every chapter???? I think it's fairly obvious I'm not Eoin Colfer. Either way, I don't oen Artemis Fowl, and all of the wonderfulness that he created.

* * *

Holly awoke, if at all to find herself in a warm, soft, cozy, king-sized bed. She drowsily figured that yesterday was all just a bad dream, and that she was very warm in the bed she figured was her own. She decided to flip over to the right side of the bed, and would have, if not for the irritated voice beside her that said: "Ow. Holly, your elbow is in my eye. Kindly move it, please."

Holly was immediately awake. Someone was in her bed, and that someone sounded a lot like Artemis…..

"Artemis?" She hissed, anger and curiosity building up inside of her.

"Present," he said smugly.

"_What_ are you doing in my bed?"

"You don't remember do you?" he asked. "Well, after your commander shot us, with a stun gun I presume, the Council thought it would be amusing to place us in the same holding cell. Unfortunately, as you know there is only one bed. It's a king-size, so plenty of room to claim sides."

"Oh gods…"she sighed. Holly then shook her head, gave up being angry, and searched for a light source. She found a light switch on the night table, and turned it on. The room she saw amazed her- it was nothing like she expected. It resembled a stereotypical bedroom; square-like in shape, with light pink walls, and a four-star hotel –like feel. She looked to her right, and was surprised to see an ensuite door on the wall. Furniture lined the walls, and pleasant-looking light fixtures lined the ceiling and tables (if lighting can be 'pleasant' at all). Although, perhaps the most bizarre feature, was the fact that there were no doors at all (except the ensuite).

You see, Holly had never seen any of the holding cells located underneath Police Plaza- it wasn't her job to bring the convicts to their temporary home. So when her mismatched eyes scanned the room from ceiling to floor, she was in denial that this was even a jail cell.

"Wow," she breathed, amazed. "We must have gotten the Opal cell."

"I find it very interesting that the LEP would spend significant money on building a cell for Opal, just so she would feel comfortable. It would be fascinating to see the other cells in comparison." Noted Artemis with interest.

The elf turned to the genius beside her. "Would it kill you to just say 'wow'?"

"Wow," said the teen with a smirk.

Holly rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm going to get what sleep I can, but first I need to make this clear: don't try _anything_. Understood?"

"Yes, but I have to assure you that I won't. Honestly, Holly, do I look like someone who would sexually harass you?"

Holly eyed her friend before lying on the right side of the bed, and tucking the covers up to her chin. "You can never be too sure with hormonal teenage boys."

On the left side of the bed, Artemis chuckled. "Smart thinking."

Within hours, the two were asleep.

Meanwhile, aboveground in the Operations Booth, Foaly was searching random files on his various computers for anything that would rid his friends of their imprisonment.

The noise of a throat being cleared tore his eyes from the deep concentration that they had on his plasma monitors.

"I have the information you wanted, Mister Foaly." The drowsy apprentice handed the centaur the digi-pad, then yawned. He had no idea why he would ever want to take the late shift; it must have been the vole curry signing all those papers.

"Thank you Roob," The technical genius said, barely glancing at his trainee. He did a double-take once he saw how tired Roob looked. "Dear Frond, Roob! You look comatose. You are dismissed from your duties and to be sent right home! Stay home tomorrow- I'll tell the commander."

Roob was overjoyed. Who said that his mentor wasn't charitable? "Thank you, sir. Goodnight, sir." On that note, he left Police Plaza, and fled to his apartment to sleep.

Back in the Ops Booth, Foaly was sure that this information was accurate – it had to be! He had searched every possible site on his monitors, and even had an apprentice or two search the fairy catacombs for accuracy.

He 'tisk'ed as he read the information on the digi-pad, and reached for a carrot from inside of his compact fridge for comfort. He would need all the comfort he could get, once he knew the information was indeed correct. If not, no problem. He could just get back to his life as a technical genius. If it was, then there was a problem. A big problem. A 'the-fairy-world-is-at-stake' problem.

He chewed the carrot in contemplation. 'Well,' he thought. 'There _is_ a way to find out…'

* * *

Yeah, sorry if this is a tad short. The next chapter will be significantly longer. Promise.

Oh, and just to remind you all, that this story is still rated K+ so if you have any ideas that the whole 'single bed' issue will go any further-get them out of your head. Now. Nothing will happen. Honestly, I wonder why I have to explain this at all. I just don't want any reviews saying "Ohhhh!!! what happens in their bed???"(etc.) And I will reply: Nothing. I'm just not that kind of writer. If you're wondering why I didn't just put two beds--I just decided too. I find their awkwardness amusing.

So, without further adieu...

...here's chapter 4!!!

(Hint: click on the 'next chapter' button)

~MFCMC


	4. The truth doesn't lie

Hey all!!! Here's Chapter 4, and for all of you who have been waiting, this is where we see Foaly's plan. Or rather what he finds. I'd tell you what it is, but what's that fun in that??? Heheheh. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except the idea of this story. Not the characters. They're Eoin Colfer's.

~"We're accidently in love"

-"Acccidentlly in love" by Counting Crows.

* * *

At nearly 11:45am GMT, hundreds of kilometres underground, Artemis Fowl II sat in an LEP fairy prison cell, holding a sketchbook, and sketching one of his best friends, Captain Holly Short of the LEP.

She was still sleeping, once the 15 year-old Irish genius had woken up at six in the morning out of sheer force of habit, and had lured the Irish teen to sketch her by the way that she just laid there so peacefully, as if not a care in the world. There was not really anything else of any interest to draw, so Artemis had begun to draw the most interesting person in the room (besides himself), which was Holly.

Artemis was amazed how much drawing soothed him. He could slave away at a piece of paper and pencil for hours, and come out with a masterpiece. Of course, the modest person that he was, Artemis had claimed that he had just found them in the trash, and then proceeded to sell his art for large sums of money. One would only wonder why in the first place a person of his personality and class would be looking in the trash.

Holly turned over, and he swore in Gnomish, which is hardly considered a cuss, when one does not know the _exact_ meaning. He had drawn the basic outline of her face and hair, and was beginning to intricately draw the curves of her lips. That was the way he always did art; draw the basic image, then focus on a particular section and begin to draw all the little details. For some reason, when starting on the particular section, he always started with the lips. Of course he could draw the eyes first, or the shape of the face, but for some unknown reason, he was always drawn into drawing the lips first.

Artemis sighed in frustration and placed his custom sketchbook and pencil on the nightstand beside him. It was thoughtful of Foaly to have some of his things brought down, considering they would be down here for a while, no thanks to the centaur.

His thoughts were interrupted when the elf turned the other way and opened her eyes. "What time is it?" she asked sleepily.

"It's nearly noon," answered Artemis, glancing at his Rolex watch.

"Ung…" groaned Holly as she shut her eyes once more. "Five more minutes."

"Holly, I think it's time for you to get up now," suggested the teen.

"Is the fairy world at stake?"

"Not that I know of…"

"Then I can sleep for five more minutes. Go away."

Artemis sighed. "Fine, have it your way. However, don't say I didn't warn you." He walked into the ensuite, obtained a translucent cup from one of the cabinets, and filled it with water. When he reached the large divan, he started counting.

"Splashdown in 5..."

_Splashdown?_ Thought Holly.

"...4..."

_Splash...down...? _

"...3..."

_Splash...water...water!_

Holly opened her eyes in horror. "Artemis...!"

"...2..."

"Artemis! Don't you _dare_!"

He held the cup inches away from her face, and grinned. "Awake, now are we?" He dipped his slim fingers into the glass, and flicked water at her face.

She attempted to swing a fist at Artemis, but being the genius that he was, sidestepped out of the way. The result was an elfin police captain on the floor with a wet face, and an annoyed expression.

"Are you alright?" Artemis asked.

"Yeah, I guess," Holly said, wiping her face free of any liquid. "On the bright side, I won't have to wash my face."

Suddenly without any warning, the floor surrounding them collapsed into darkness. The duo let out a short scream, due to the unexpectedness of the floor giving way and the short distance they fell.

They landed in something soft. All of a sudden, lights flooded the room, exposing the interior. Holly and Artemis were in a larger room than before, with all the same features as the one above them. However, a large plain wall had nothing on it. Artemis looked down, as to see what it was they landed on. _Oh, you _have _to be kidding_, he thought. "Foam blocks? Seriously?"

"Unbelievable," commented Holly, articulating each syllable smoothly.

"I'm going to attempt to get out of this pool of foam," said Artemis, easing himself towards firm ground.

"It may not be as easy as you think," warned the elf, also attempting to make her way to the edge. In her athletic finesse, she made it to the edge of the pit quicker than Artemis, and stood up, glad to be out of the foam pit. Suddenly, on the bare wall in front of her, Foaly's image was projected with a smile on his horsy face. It gave her such a start that she fell right back into the pit with an 'Oomph!' made by the foam compressing.

Foaly looked apologetic. "Sorry about that, Holly. I'm just testing out my new screen. How do you like it?"

Somewhere in the pit, Artemis replied sarcastically, "It's brilliant, Foaly. Though in the future, it may be useful to warn us of your…appearance."

The centaur craned his head in search of the teenager. "Fowl? Is that you? Where are in the name of Frond _are_ you?"

Artemis made his way over to Holly and helped her up to solid ground once again. She then helped him up, and he collapsed on the floor, utterly exhausted. He feebly raised his hand as if he was in a school class. "I'm right here, Foaly."

Foaly fought back a snicker, and raised an eyebrow instead. "Alright, then. Very well, I have some good and bad news to tell both of you."

"What's the good news?" asked Holly, helping her friend into a sitting position.

"You'll be out of here in less than a week."

"…And the bad news?" Artemis asked cautiously.

In his office, Foaly shifted uncomfortably. "Well, there's actually a lot of bad news…."

"Just tell us Foaly!" snapped the elf, getting impatient.

"Alright, alright! Keep your ears on! Okay, number one: Opal is back. I'll explain more later And number two: when you're released, you'll be in training for war."

"War?" repeated the elf quietly. "With who?"

"It can't be with humans, I've already made peace," reasoned Artemis.

"Err…not humans. More like Opal."

"Opal?" said Holly, confused.

"Ah, I see. You held us here so you could make sure of our participation." Artemis concluded. He shamefully looked away, "Similar to what I did to Holly."

She laid a hand on his shoulder. "It's over now. Stop regretting the past."

Foaly shifted uncomfortably. There was no real easy way to tell them this. "Um…not exactly. You see, there's this prophecy concerning you two, and I have to make sure it's true, and…"

"Well, what's the prophecy say?" asked Holly, genuinely interested.

"You're not going to like it," warned the centaur.

"Spit it out, centaur!" growled the elf, getting increasingly annoyed.

Foaly sighed, and cleared his throat. He began to read:

"_An interesting friendship: the policewoman and the criminal,_

_Some would say their acquaintance is anything but minimal._

_As years go by, formalities that were used to address,_

_Are gone, and replaced with ones neither one would confess._

_Joined at the hip, fighting side by side,_

_It is a closeness neither one would mind._

_Despite the bliss the presence provides,_

_There is an evil that has only to devise._

_On Christmas Day, on the year of the wild cat,_

_All humans will know where the fairies are at._

_A bell is to blame, with the turncoat at its tower,_

_They will ring and all of fairy-kind will cower. _

_For the name of the traitor is a real gem,_

_Evil plus narcissistic is a perfect ten. _

_To win the battle, the duo must be at the bell,_

_A kiss at midnight will be the only way to tell._

_But beware of the battle that lay before,_

_Troubles too big will be knocking on Haven's door."_

"Oh, Frond." whispered Holly, clearly in shock. This prophecy was _clearly_ was about Artemis and her.

Artemis was speechless. Once he had gathered enough to start speaking, he started to say, "So...." yet he did not finish his sentence. He did not _want_ to finish it.

"Do you see why I had to keep you both down here for 4 weeks? I have to prepare you," sighed Foaly, glad he got the foretelling over with. There was still one more thing....

Apparently, Artemis had recovered from his stupor. He rolled his eyes as he said, ""Prepare us"? Really, Foaly. You could have phrased that better." Then something struck the genius. "Wait, does Butler know anything? Or my parents? Do they know where I am?"

The centaur whinnied. "Please. As if I would purposely allow your bodyguard to hurt my poor furry behind. He's been sent a notification, along with your parents. Editing has been done for your parent's sake, of course."

"Of course," agreed Artemis, nodded. "So what was the last part you were going to tell us?"

Foaly shot him a questioning glance.

Holly sighed. "The thing you were going to tell us before you told us the prophecy? The other thing about Opal?"

The centaur cleared his throat, and sighed. "Well, we found Opal in Greece, disguised as a tourist. And…." Foaly stretched out the word as if he didn't want to tell them-which in fact was true. "…then we lost her in Athens. We don't know _how_, exactly. She just disappeared. Before you say it, Fowl, no she didn't just shield because I would have detected it." Artemis closed his opened mouth that was ready to suggest that very notation to Foaly.

"So," continued Foaly, "It's up to you to save fairy-kind from this terrible prophecy that most likely will have Opal at the center. I mean, 'the name of the traitor is a real gem'. Gem? Opal? I mean, _really_. Sometimes, I think my genius is being wasted."

"Well, tell us what you want us to do and we'll do it," said Holly, with ease. She glanced at Artemis. "Right, Arty?"

His face showed a hint of red. This seemed to be occurring at regular intervals whenever Holly used his pet name. He nodded in response. "Absolutely."

Foaly winced. He had to do it. He had to tell them what he needed them to do. But they wouldn't like it. However, he had to be sure of the prophecy. "Err, well, I don't think you'll like what I need you to do…"

"Well, if it's for good reason, and not one of your _personal experiments_, then why shouldn't we like it?" reasoned the elf. She knew Foaly very well, and sometimes when he was bored, he liked to create _personal experiments_ in order to entertain himself. Unfortunately, recently he had taken an interest in matchmaking, and had developed a sort of chemical that attracts the opposite gender, and had successfully tried it out on a few so-called "lonely" employees. The happy couple had no idea of the centaur's scheme. Holly had a sneaking suspicion that this was what the "not liking it" part was. Foaly was playing matchmaker. Again.

As usual, the technical genius looked offended. This time he was genuinely hurt. "No, really, Holly. This isn't it this time! I really have to get you two to do this because of the prophecy. I need to confirm it."

Artemis looked a tad lost. "So what is it you need us to do, exactly?"

Foaly sighed. "I need you two to kiss. Right now." He bit his lip. They were both silent.

Holly was taking deep breaths and trying her hardest not to yell at the centaur. This was, after all, for the confirmation of the prophecy, right? So what's the big deal?

The genius, on the other hand was tremendously quiet. He was awaiting Holly's response. He, personally had no problem with the request outside of the obvious reason of embarrassment, but the elf seemed a bit red in the face. Then again, so was he, however he assumed it was because she was angry. He decided it was a bit of both: anger, and embarrassment.

His friend took a deep breath and said, "Okay." She looked at the Irish teen. "Are you okay with this?" He nodded. Artemis really didn't have a choice in the matter. However, he would have preferred that it not be in front of Foaly, only because the centaur had a tendency to crack the odd joke about them, and the genius really did not appreciate it.

"It's not like, you know, our first time," said Holly, managing weak smile.

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "True, however I had just woken up from the dead, so to speak. I was not fully aware of anything, really. I'm sorry, Holly, but I don't think that counts as a first kiss."

The elf thought about it. "I guess your right, as usual. Well, then this we'll be our first." She finished with a slight huff.

_These two are taking forever!_ Thought Foaly. "Um, can you guys speed it up? I'm sort of on a schedule here. But, you know, no pressure." They both gave him an_ are-you-kidding-me? No-pressure?_ look.

Holly inhaled and exhaled deeply, making herself calmer. "It's better to do it right away, rather than being awkward," she told Artemis. _Because this isn't awkward at all,_ she thought sarcastically.

"I know," answered the teen softly. He hesitated for a moment, the leaned over and kissed her softly. In a patch of memories, tucked deep and impenetrable inside his genius brain, he savoured the instant knowledge of her kissing him back. Foaly in the meantime, was glad that this was being automatically recorded.

The two broke apart, and stood there dazed for a moment. Then they made the mistake of glancing at Foaly who had a huge smile plastered upon his horsey face. Then he glanced downwards and the sound of a digi-pad being used was heard as he quickly sorted out some files, and jotted down some notes. "Alright, it's all as I figured," he stated. "You can have the afternoon to yourselves in this….room. So, enjoy!" He then quickly shut down the link from his computers to the computerized wall on their holding cell. The centaur's face disappeared, and the cellmates found themselves again in the room with a slapdash sponge pit.

"'All as he figured?'" repeated Artemis, his brow creasing. "I'm not sure I like the sound of that."

"Me neither," agreed Holly, looking around the room "Well, there's not much to do here, so do you fancy a trip back into the infamous sponge pit?"

Artemis chuckled. "Why not? Just as long as we are not playing tag. It requires physical strength, which is something I don't have a lot of."

Holly laughed. "Yeah, ok. Let's just lay in the soft foam and pretend we're at the beach or something of the relaxing type."

"Sounds good to me," smiled the teen. So that's how they spent their day; in a sponge pit, dreaming of relaxation in their stressful lives.

* * *

So, did ya like it? If so, press that lovely 'Review' button and tell me so.

I still have to type up Chapter 5, and I like to post multiple chapters at the same time, so it might take a while. But not like last time. That was terrible, and I hope it won't take me _that _long to update again. Sorry about that.

~MFCMC


	5. Boot Camp

Hey all! how's it going? wow! i can't believe I've posted 3 whole chapters in a day! That is definetly a record for me. Consider it an apology gift from me to all the fanfic-ers for taking so long to update. Yay! *insert celebration song here*

disclaimer: I don't own Arty or his amazing friends. They belong to Eoin Colfer.

~"You made me feel alright, for once in my life."

-"Behind these hazel eyes" by Kelly Clarkson

* * *

The next day was generally spent as being what Holly would describe as 'bored'. The inmates decided to play tag after all, despite Artemis's lack of physical endurance, and came to the decision that playing the child's game of tag in a pool of foam is extremely difficult. Artemis had not caught Holly once.

The genius, gasping for breath, called for a break. "I have to use the restroom," he explained, getting out of the foam and heading towards the ensuite.

Holly rolled her eyes, and looked about the room. The hole where they had fallen through yesterday was open now, releasing a piece of paper that floated to the bottom. The hole then proceeded to close with a silent 'hiss'. Holly glanced at the paper on the floor, then at the space on the ceiling where she thought the hole was, but all evidence of it even being there was gone.

The elf wobbled over to the lid of the foam pit, heaved herself out, and then walked towards where the paper had fallen. Curiosity was a specific trait of elves, and Holly couldn't resist gazing at the paper for what it would hold. Her heart rate increased as she realized that what was on the piece of paper was an unfinished drawing of her sleeping. _Who drew this?_ She wondered. She was snapped out of her thoughts, as she heard Artemis coming out of the bathroom and strolling towards her.

"What do you have there?" he asked in a curious manner. She showed him the picture she was holding. "This paper just floated down from a hole in the ceiling. It's me sleeping, if you couldn't tell. It's quite funny, though. I had no idea I even slept like that. I wonder who drew it? It's very good."

The genius frowned. "You weren't supposed to find this."

Holly raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

Artemis's face had a tint of red to it. "Well, I supposed I was afraid you would find it and laugh."

Holly felt a tingle of a slight blush coming on her cheeks. "So you drew this? It's amazing, really." She shook her head and looked at him kindly, but earnestly. "Why did you think I would ever laugh at your work?"

Artemis shrugged. "I'm not sure. However there is always that chance."

The elf looked at the drawing once more, then at him. "First of all, there is never a chance I will laugh at your work, unless it's intended to make me laugh. Secondly, why is it unfinished?"

"You turned over," stated the Irish native simply. Holly chuckled.

Suddenly doors burst open, which neither knew were even there. The doors revealed to be Foaly dressed in what appeared to be late seventies gym attire. He blew a sharp trill whistle making both the human and elf cover their ears to shelter their eardrums from the intensely loud and shrill noise. "Alright! Lets see what you two are made of!" the centaur shouted.

"_Pardon_?" questioned the Irish genius. "Where did this come from?"

"It's only boot camp, Fowl. No need to get scared," sighed the technical genius.

"Boot camp?" panicked the teen. "Are you serious?" he was _not_ in shape; he would only endlessly embarrass himself horribly.

"Alright!" cheered the elf, obviously excited. She pulled Artemis towards the doors by his wrists.

Foaly lead them through unknown silver, seamless futuristic hallways, stopping at a pair of doors, only to open them. What was inside of the doors amazed them. A giant stadium, filled with sim-grass, field equipment, a track, and various weights greeted them.

_Crap_, thought Artemis, taking in all the equipment he knew he would have to use.

_This'll be so much fun!_ Thought Holly, glancing at all the fitness gear that she was fit enough to actually use without harming _herself. _

_I am so glad I don't have to do any of this_, thought Foaly, scanning the various weights, and equipment that the others would have to use. He read the checklist on his digipad. "Alright, Fowl, you're up first."

"_What_?" replied a horrified Artemis.

"What's the matter, Arty?" teased Holly. "Afraid of a little fitness?"

"Do I seriously have to answer that question?" he pleaded.

Foaly sighed. "Okay, here's what you do. You have to run around the track twice, then step over the Mud man tires, carry that weight to that marker, throw it over the hurdle, then do 20 push-ups. Think you can manage that?"

Once again, Artemis was silent. "I really don't see what this has to do with the prophecy."

Foaly sighed once more. "Okay. Well, remember that bit about how trouble will hit Haven? Yeah, well, everybody has to be in shape in case you have to fight against something. Hence, the boot camp. It's to make sure you're in shape, and if you're not, then daily routines will get you in shape."

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "So am I right in assuming that you have already completed the 'boot camp', Foaly?"

The centaur whinnied, effortlessly lying. "Of course I have. In addition, I am in top physical condition, too. And don't ask me to complete the test right now as proof, as that would be deemed pointless. Ready to go?"

Artemis took a deep breath. "Let me take one moment to say what an average human would say when presented with this 'boot camp' of yours_: Are you out of your mind?_" he bawled. Foaly grinned evilly. "Yes, I am. Now are you going to keep making up excuses, or are you going to run the circuit?" Artemis sighed, and regretfully completed the course. It took him one hour. Holly completed it in fifteen minutes. Twice.

"Excellent, Holly. Artemis, you need to get in shape. I'm recommending the daily version of this circuit to boost your strength, stamina, and speed. Holly will assist you." Foaly then left to upload the gathered information onto his computers.

Artemis sighed. It was humiliating enough to have completed this 'boot camp' of hell, but to have to do it everyday with Holly. That was something else. Ah well, he would just have to suck up his pride, and show some humility. And humility was healthy in the psychiatric sense, wasn't it?

The genius collapsed on a bench. "That was the most extensive training I have ever experienced," he complained, drinking from his water cooler/bottle. Holly sat next to him. "You know, if you trained with Butler more often, then it wouldn't be that bad," she said, trying to be sympathetic.

"You're right, I should start to train more frequently." He then gave his trademark vamparic smile. "However I keep on getting abducted by a certain female captain." Holly punched him gently on the arm. "Shut up," she joked. She then bit her lip, wondering if she should say what she wanted to, next. "Artemis?"

"Yes?"

The elf paused for a moment. "Have you ever wondered…I mean I suppose it would be rude to ask….but have you ever been just curious… to know more about me?" she asked self-consciously, wondering if it was stupid of her to say that.

Artemis cracked a smile. "Yes, I have. Although I've always assumed that you would tell me, and you haven't yet, so metaphorically, my ears are open."

Holly was a tad frazzled. She hadn't realized that she hadn't told him anything about her past. "Um…well, I grew up in Haven, right across the street from Police Plaza actually, and a few blocks from where I live now. I had an older brother named Ash, and a younger sister named Willow. My parents were Coral and Fern Short, and well, um, twenty-one years ago, my mom died. She was part of the LEPmarine force, and there was this tanker that fell on her submarine and filled it with radioactive waste. In addition, radiation is poisonous to fairies, but you knew that. It took her a week to die, and …it was terrible. My whole family was a wreck. But…on the way to the hospital on the second day she was there, my dad my sister and brother …there was a crash….the shuttle they were riding on had an accident…and an accidental magma flare flared up…it was horrible." She had to stop because she her throat was closing up and the tears were streaming softly down her face.

Artemis placed an arm around her. He knew what she was feeling because he had lost both his parents also. Only, in his case, he had recovered both of them. He should say something, however he didn't know what. "That would explain your claustrophobia," he said dumbly. The genius mentally kicked himself for saying such a stupid thing. However, the elf chuckled. "Yeah," she said in a small voice, trying to smile.

"Hey, now," he said getting a spark of sympathetic genius. Looking her gently in the eyes, he began to wipe her tears away with his thumb. "No more tears, okay? That was in the past, so now you need to focus on the future. Learn from your sadness, and make it your strength." The elf smiled genuinely. "Thank you, Arty. That makes a big difference." He wrapped the other arm around her, and she buried her head in his chest, letting the tears stain his shirt. "Thank you," she mumbled again.

They stayed like that for a moment or two, and then Artemis straightened up and asked her, "Where have you always wanted to go?" Holly laughed, while wiping the remainder of her tears. "Well that was a pretty random question."

"Are you going to answer it?"

"London. To see Big Ben, the tower."

"Why?"

"Well, I've never been there."

"Did you know that it's the largest four-faced chiming clock in the world?"

"No, I didn't know that," answered Holly.

Then something struck Artemis. Something in the prophecy. "The prophecy. There's something about ringing a bell in the prophecy. And I know if I wanted to broadcast something to a large nation through a bell, I'd do it through Big Ben."

"Do you think that's what Opal's going to do?" asked the elf.

"Quite possibly. We should tell Foaly."

Ironically, they heard a trotting noise beside them. "Tell me what?" the centaur asked them.

"You won't like it," warned Holly.

"Tell me. The fate of the world could depend on it." Foaly pressed.

"It quite possibly could," added Artemis, as a side note.

"What is it?" insisted technical genius. They told him. He didn't like it.

* * *

Eh, personally, I thought some of the conversations (like the part when Holly was talking about her past) didn't make sense.I origionally had then talk about a different issue, but I didn't think it would fit. Oh well. I have one thing to say to Artemis: FEEL THE BURN! lol!

PM if you see any mistakes! Please and thank you :{D

Anyways, review review review!

~MFCMC


End file.
